Wednesday 30 August 2017

Let's Talk - Comparison


"Let's Talk" is a series I'm introducing to my blog which will be me discussing issues that tend to affect us all. It's been in the works for a little while and I'm very excited to get these posts out. First topic is Comparison.

Comparison is the best confidence killer I know, especially with how relevant social media is in our lives. When I look at the Instagrams of other 20-somethings that seem to really have their lives together all I can do is look at mine and sigh. Now don't get me wrong I do have some good things going for me, but it seems in recent times people are getting successful earlier and the fact I don't seem to have my life together at 20 is frustrating. When you're 13 thinking forward to your 20th, a whopping 7 years seems like a long time to get your shit in order and you truly think by that time you will be cruising your way to a 1st with perfect job perfect relationship and a hefty social media following (if you're a blogger) in tow. You may have one or none of those things. Either way there's no reason to beat yourself up.

I am always going to support other people's grind because no one started with it all (let's not use this as an opportunity to slag off the Kardashian-Jenner tribe because we'd all take their wealth gladly) and a lot of people have had to work for years before they get where they've got and it's only natural for them to show it off on social media.

There's also going to always be people with our idea of a "perfect" body that we are envious of, whether it be an Insta model or a girl you work with but it's always good to remember that it is very rare for individuals to believe they have a "perfect" body and there's always something that they would like to change whether it be big or small.

It's pretty normal to get into a bit of a funk when comparison is constantly on your mind but a lot of the time it's you metaphorically shooting yourself in the foot. The expectation you set yourself is often made higher because you're looking at someone else's 5 years of work in comparison to yours and you've only been getting more serious recently! I am definitely someone who does this because of my laziness I know there have been times where I've put in minimal effort and expect the world to fall at my feet. That doesn't just happen, if you read my last post in my July Goals I said that I want to take control of my own life because I've realised that I am really letting it run me as opposed to me running it. As silly as it sounds I tend to revolve my day around other things that I feel I need to do i.e. working as opposed to things that I need to do for myself such as shorthand revision and going to the gym. When I don't do these things i have an inner monologue berating myself for being such a slacker and I ultimately end up telling myself what's the point putting in all the effort if I can't get what I want? (a good grade and a good body) Even though my boyfriend will tell me that I know I can achieve all these if I truly graft it's too late and I'm in a downward spiral of self pity.

A pity party can be acceptable at times but if you're like me and they're self inflicted it's often better for them to be short and for you to get back on your grind. I am writing this little post in the hopes of aiding anyone who's in a funk but also for myself as when I get myself into one of these moods I want to be able to read back on this and remind myself that there is very little time for it because it really brings no benefits and the negativity is something that really isn't needed in life.


Ren x
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2 comments

  1. This post reminds me of something I tweeted out earlier: "life isn't a race". I totally can relate to what you're saying here, I'm usually so hard on myself and racing to get to a 'finished product' in life, but sometimes we all need a reminder to take things steady and at our own pace. Some of the most inspiring people I know took years to reach where they are now! As the saying goes, comparison is the thief of joy.

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  2. Honestly it is! (the thief of joy) I don't even know how much time I've spent being depressed about things that really shouldn't ruin my day. Any hiccup often becomes anecdotal a few years down the line and things become a lot easier when we realise that the world won't be coming to an end if we don't finish everything we had planned to that day.

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